Gay Visibility: How Are We Being Represented?

Recently I had another debate with a local gay pride committee. They claimed that more pride festivals would help reduce gay hate crimes.
Me: The Pride festivals need to be more informative to society at large instead of the pageantry of costumes, disco, and free condoms.
GPC: In fact, there are two events on our Pride Week calendar that are purely educational in nature: a documentary night and a multimedia event, which will focus on the human rights aspects of our community's struggle. Plus, we've got a very special event happening in conjunction with our fall picnic in September that's really gonna knock your socks off.

Me: How do these pride events prevent homophobic acts? Aren't we only reaching our own? They are a celebration of our culture. I can assure you that homophobes aren't having their minds changed by dancing drag queens and leather daddies on floats and multiple AIDS awareness booths. Billy White Trash isn't gonna say "oh yeah that pride fest was so much fun – I want a gay couple to adopt my next bastard!"
It's like saying we won't believe the rumors about catholic priests if we went to church and saw the altar boys.
These pride events are not well catered to gay families. It's like an extension of the bar -- outside and during the day. Which is fine. But, that scene isn't going to bring in the haters much less change minds.
Our progress must take place in the suburbs, day care centers, schools, hospitals, churches, etc. Go where the fear is and educate. I guess my general idea off the cuff here is to have "get to know us" events at those places that will educate the general public on how we are as neighbors, parents, teachers, healthcare patients and significant others of, and faith followers etc. Unfortunately, I guess there is a certain amount of conforming and intermingling that must happen if we want to be accepted.
GPC:Well, that sounds like something that's more suited for individuals to do - educating their own families and friends - than a community organization like Pride. We could no more change the minds of these "haters" than the NAACP can change the minds of the KKK.
That said, I don't know if you've been to a lot of our events, but our festival and picnics have always attracted quite a few families. We're striving to appeal to the widest range of LGBT folks as we can. It's impossible to please everyone, but with a whole week of events, we do a pretty good job, I think.

Me: 1. I thought it was insinuated that more pride festivals might prevent hate crimes.
2. Community outreach sounds like a "community organization" duty to me but I guess I'm just confused about all of this.
3. After reading this article, we all need to make a concentrated effort to discourage the usage of words like "faggot". Laughing at movies like "The Hangover" or buying Eminem cds sends a message that we're ok with it.
Take [pride] in how we define ourselves.
It's an excellent argument happening right now in various gay rights advocacy groups. Should we take the leather daddies and go-go boys off display and instead promote roles of gay people that heterosexuals can relate to – parents, teachers, nurses, firefighters etc. Show them we are already among them, they already like us. However, the price for acceptance may be giving up who we are – our culture.
Some think we should be more aggressive. Some say we falter to narrow acceptance. I think it's all worth debating.
I completely support diversity and don't think there should be a double standard. There are divisions within the community though that cause what many are calling separations that are undermining the cause.
I'm curious to know what you think of GLBTQIA etc. Do all these belong together? Do any hold back the other(s)? These are just some debates going on within advocacy groups.
Transgendered, transsexual, and asexual don't consider themselves gay, so why do they wanna hitch a ride on our train to equality?
GPC: Maybe I'm not reading the same articles that you have been, but I thought that the assimilationist argument had been shelved twenty or thirty years ago. I don't want to sound overly confrontational, but to be frank, I think that the idea that we should shunt aside certain segments of our community so that some
straight people will find us easier to stomach is highly insulting. Do we want society-at-large to accept gays, lesbians, and other sexual minorities, or do we only want them to accept those of us who are comfortably "straight-acting?"
And yes, I do think that all sexual minorities are well served by working together. Do we "belong" together? Well, that's for each individual to decide. But I'm perfectly happy making common cause with anyone who believes in diversity. I personally believe that the queer community needs to be all-inclusive if we're ever going to accomplish our goals.
Me: It's not old news.
I'm not suggesting gays "straighten" up.
I resent the word "queer" so I don't consider myself to be part of a "queer community"
I'm a member of the Gay community not a queer community.